the habit files.

The Long Game · Part 6 of 6

Year One

7 min read

Hairloom's workshop is a converted watch-repair shop on the far side of the river. The sign out front still says WATCHES WHILE YOU WAIT, because Ramona Hedlund refuses to pay for a new one.

"It's character, darling," she says. "Also, it's true. People wait, and most of them are wearing watches."

Inside, there are forty wig stands on long shelves, each with a paper tag. There is a sewing table, a kettle and a framed opera poster from 1987. It smells like hairspray and good coffee.

On Saturday morning at nine o'clock, the whole Capital Projects team from the Garnet Falls Water Authority stood in that room. So did my mother.

My name, in case the internet has not told you, is Dagny Gundersen. I am thirty-seven and I design water systems.

For twenty years I had worn fifty-one inches of hair, coiled at the back of my neck under four steel pins. I had bet it on a charity drive and watched the internet try to schedule it. Then I spent a week turning that attention into a pump station.

And on Thursday night, on the steps of the county building, I had decided.


My mother had brought the kitchen scissors. The ones with the bottle opener in the handle.

"For moral support," she said, holding them up in a sealed freezer bag like a lab sample.

"I'm not going to use them. I just thought they should be here. To see how it's done properly."

Ramona took the bag from her, very gently, and put it on a high shelf next to the opera poster.

"They can watch from the balcony," she said.

Rocco had come in a knit cap. He had twenty-one days of hair now, enough to look like a choice. He kept his hands in his pockets so he would stop touching it. Under the cap, he told us, it had started to do something he described as "a direction."

Lucia had her phone in her coat. I had asked her not to film. She had said yes immediately, and then, quietly, that this was the first time she'd been relieved to be told no.

Osman had brought his laptop. Winifred had brought her notebook. Neither surprised anyone.


Here is why I decided. I want to get this right, because a lot of people got it wrong in the comments, kindly and otherwise.

I did not do it because of the bet. Winifred was correct: a bet in a staff meeting is not a contract. The bet was a factor. It was not the load path.

I did not do it because of the clock either. The clock had been gone for two days. Its owner was now counting toward a groundbreaking.

I did it because of the NOTES column. Twenty years of Januaries, and every one of them, I had stood in my kitchen and chosen to keep going.

That was the habit. It was never the hair. The hair was just what the habit left behind, the way a tree leaves rings.

And I did it because of two hundred and twelve orange dots on Osman's map. Ramona had told me something on the phone that week.

Long hair, real long hair, is the hardest thing for a wig charity to get. Most donations are twelve or fourteen inches. Hardly anyone walks in with thirty-seven.

There was a woman on Hairloom's list, Ramona said, who had worn a long braid her whole life before her treatment. She had been waiting three years for a wig that matched it.

She was not a dot on a map to me after that. She was a specification. I know how to meet one of those.


Ramona sat me in a tall chair by the window. Rocco held the steel tape, because I asked him to. He held it like a surveyor, very seriously, and read the number aloud.

"Fifty-one and three-eighths inches," he said. "Respectfully, that's a lot of inches."

"Last chance, darling," Ramona said. "If you want to walk out that door, I'll hold it open and buy you breakfast. No one in this room would think less of you."

I looked at the room. My mother was holding her own hands, and Winifred had both pairs of glasses on. Lucia had stopped captioning, which I had never seen. Osman was waiting with the patience of a man who has watched many maps load.

"I'm sure," I said. "Fourteen inches stays. The rest goes to her."

Ramona put the hair into two neat braids and tied them off, and then it was done. It took less time than drying it used to.

There was a pause in the room. Then my mother said, in a voice that wobbled only a little, "The ends are even."

"Of course they're even," said Ramona. "I'm a professional."

"It's been twenty years," said my mother. "I like to see a thing through."


The first thing I noticed was my neck. It felt as if somebody had removed a weight from a structure that had always assumed the weight was permanent. My head felt like it might float slightly upward, like a balloon at a party.

The second thing I noticed was that the anchorage was gone. Four steel pins lay on Ramona's table, off duty for the first time since I was seventeen. I made a note to log their service record.

Ramona laid the two braids on her postal scale.

"Three hundred and eleven grams," she said. "Thirty-seven inches. Darling, that's enough for her whole wig and then some. The rest will go into fringes for two more."

"Three hundred and eleven grams," I repeated. My whiteboard estimate had been 380 for the full length. I did the subtraction in my head. The numbers were consistent with my model.

"Caption," Lucia said softly, finally. "Senior engineer verifies her own load calcs."

Osman opened his laptop. "Let me pull up the map," he said.

He pulled up Garnet County, with its two hundred and twelve orange dots. Then he clicked once, and one of them turned gold.

The room stayed very quiet. Ramona had to step into the back room to "check the kettle." The kettle was in the front room.


I posted one photograph that afternoon. It was the two braids on the postal scale, with the readout showing 311 grams. Under it, I wrote the spec.

DECISION: MADE.

OWNER: D. GUNDERSEN.

DONATED: 37 IN. REMAINING: 14 3/8 IN.

STATUS: NOMINAL.

The internet, for once, did exactly the right thing. It said thank you, about two million times.

Keep the Braid and Cut the Braid both changed their names to Fund the Station. The daily status account posted its last update: Braid status: delivered. Anchorage: retired with honors.

The fund closed at $163,480. Ramona raffled off the gold-plated scissors that Fernway Shears had sent me and raised another four thousand dollars. The winner was CountdownToTheCut, who announced it on his stream and said he planned to frame them and never use them.

Somebody asked me in the comments if I regretted it. I answered honestly.

Ask me in January.


On January 1, at nine in the morning, I stood in my kitchen with the steel tape.

I opened LONG_GAME. I had added a new row under the old ones and labeled it YEAR 1. I measured from the crown, the same as always.

Fifteen and one-eighth inches. It had grown three-quarters of an inch since November. It was apparently not in a hurry, and neither was I.

In the NOTES column, I typed: Started over. Nominal.

Then I opened the second tab.

It was called LONG_GAME_ROCCO. I had made it in December, at his request.

At the holiday party, he had taken me aside and admitted he had not shaved in ten weeks and did not plan to start. "Respectfully," he'd said, "I want to see what it does. And Ramona says if I make it to twelve inches, she'll take it."

At 9:05, my phone rang. It was a video call. Rocco was in his own kitchen, holding a tape measure to his head with enormous concentration. Behind him, his wife was laughing so hard she had to sit down.

"One point six inches," he said. "It has a part. I didn't ask for a part. It just made one."

"That's normal."

"Nothing about this is normal." He squinted at the camera. "Twenty years, you did this?"

"Twenty years."

"Respectfully," Rocco said, "I'll see you in 2046."

I typed his number into the first row. In the NOTES column, I wrote: Has a part. Complains. Nominal.


The first Monday of January, the team gathered in the conference room. The whiteboard still had the faint ghost of DECISION: PENDING underneath a new drawing. It was Pump Station 6, version two, with the construction schedule written beside it in blue.

Winifred sat at the head of the table with her notebook. We waited for her to begin the way she always begins.

"One thousand, one hundred and two days," she said.

We all stared at her. Rocco's mouth fell open. Lucia's hand went to her phone and stopped halfway.

"That's not four hundred," Osman said carefully.

"Construction finishes in three years," said Winifred. "I've waited twenty for this station. I intend to cut the ribbon myself."

She turned a page in her notebook.

"Item one," she said. "Pump Station 6."

And for the first time in twenty years, the four of us answered together.

"This fiscal year."

The End

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